The article provides some interesting results from a national (U.S.) survey regarding emotions in the workplace.  The most commonly experienced emotion at work is frustration.  Based on the survey results and other research, it is more acceptable for men to express anger at work than it is for women.  Men can yell and pound their fist on a table to release tension, but women aren’t supposed to do that.  Nor is it OK for women to cry, even though they are biologically predisposed to express strong emotions by crying.

“…it’s no wonder that more than 50% of women reported being angry at work during the past year–for the moment, there is simply no socially acceptable way for women to express legitimate anger in the workplace.”

So, what’s a woman to do?   When I was extremely frustrated or angry at work, I would go outside and pace until I cooled off.  There were other times when I went to the parking lot, got in my car, and had a good cry.  In other words, I hid my emotions from my co-workers.  The few times that I did cry in front of co-workers, I felt embarrassed afterward.  And, I could tell that my emotional display made them uncomfortable.

The survey data suggests that things may be changing and it is becoming more acceptable to bring your whole self to work.  “69% of respondents felt that when someone gets emotional in the workplace, it makes the person seem more human, and a whopping 88% of all workers (93% of women and 83% of men) felt that being sensitive to others’ emotions at work is an asset.”

Are things changing?  Do you think it’s OK for women to show anger and frustration at work?

Do you consider yourself lucky?  I do, but I don’t believe in luck in the traditional sense of some sort of random and mysterious force.  Instead, I believe in making my own luck by being ready, willing, and able to take a chance at success.  There is a famous quote by Seneca that expresses this same sentiment: “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

In my experience, the preparation part of this equation is easy.  In fact, most of my clients are already ‘baked’ or well on their way.  The challenge is in spotting and seizing opportunities when they arise.   Why is this so challenging?  One reason is because we have a fixed idea of what a good opportunity looks like, so we can’t see the myriad of possibilities that surround us every day.  My advice: look for opportunities in disguise and believe in happy accidents.

Another big barrier to making our own luck is failing to act when an opportunity presents itself.   This failure to act is almost always related to some kind of fear.  Fear of failure, fear of looking stupid, fear of being found out, fear of rejection, fear of  you fill in the blank.   When you find yourself in this situation, remember the old saying, ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained.’  You have the choice to face your fears or stay safely and firmly stuck in the status quo.

So, go out and make your own luck this month!

2010 also brought me a healthy new grandson, profitable new business alliances, and professional accolades.   Through it all, I was grateful to be able to share the joys and the sorrows with the special people in my life.  The gift of 2010 was the deepening of many of my relationships – with family, friends, colleagues, clients, and with myself.  And, that last relationship – the one between me and me – evolved and deepened the most.

Looking ahead to 2011, I’m confident that this will be a great year.  I’ve got lots of things brewing, so stay tuned.   Right now, I want to share something I learned last year that has me really excited about 2011.   I’ve discovered a powerful process for identifying what is preventing you from getting what you really want.   I’ll introduce you to this process during a complimentary 90-minute teleclass on Wednesday, January 26, 2011 at 12:00 noon Eastern.  It doesn’t cost you anything to attend, so click here to sign up.  If you can’t be on the call live, that’s OK.  Go ahead and register and I’ll send you the recording.  I hope to ‘see’ you on the call.

And, is it just me, or does it seem like the pace of change is accelerating?

If you need proof that our world is changing at the speed of light, watch the 2008 update of the video Did You Know? on YouTube. Some of the statistics in this short video are absolutely astounding to me, including:

• The largest English-speaking country will soon be China
• The ‘hottest’ jobs in 2010 did not even exist in 2004 (for example, green jobs, social media marketing)
• Today’s students will have 10 to 14 jobs by the age of 38
• 1 in 2 workers has been with their current employer less than 5 years

While I know that change is a fact of life and necessary for growth and development, sometimes it is hard to let go of ‘how it used to be.’  But, let go we must.

In his classic book, Transitions, William Bridges tells us that all change begins with an ending.  Bridges recommends formally marking the end of what used to be with a ritual of sorts.  I remember years ago, working for a company that was acquired.  There was a lot of sadness and nostalgia for the way things used to be.  A very smart person in our office (not me) organized a meeting to mark the end of the old company.  The employees gathered together in the breakroom and ceremonially burned our old business cards.  Then, we each received our new business cards imprinted with the acquiring company’s name and logo.  There was even a cake to help celebrate our new beginning as part of a larger organization.

What big changes are you currently facing and how are you dealing with the transition?

For some people, the idea of reinvention seems huge, daunting, and a scary proposition.  These folks may be thinking, “I’ve put a lot of time and energy into building this career and I can’t just throw it all away and start over.”  That is certainly one perspective, but there are plenty of others.  Here’s one that might just help someone move forward instead of staying stuck in the comfort zone: “I’ve learned so much in this career and I’ve gained competencies and strengths that can help me successfully transition to another area that really interests me.”

Think about some well-known people who have reinvented themselves.  Every former US President has had to reinvent himself after leaving office.  The same can be said of famous athletes who retire from professional sports.  As they transition into philanthropy or business or whatever, they build on their existing foundation of experience, skills, and knowledge.  Imagine you are a one story building and you want to be a two story building.  If you have a strong foundation, you can build a second story on top of the first one.  You don’t have to tear down the house and construct an entirely new two story structure.

We all need to get comfortable with the idea of reinvention because the days of staying in the same job, same company, and/or same profession for a working lifetime are long gone.  In fact, young people entering the workforce today will likely have four or five different careers and dozens of different jobs over their working life.

Regardless of your age and career stage, you can reinvent yourself.  Enjoy the journey!

Ellen Degeneres Commencement Speech

How do you define success?

Now, answer another question.  Is that your definition or someone else’s?

I confess that I spent way too much of my precious time and energy trying to achieve other people’s versions of success.  From the outside, I looked successful by most people’s standards.  I had the trappings of success – good job, income, education, etc.  But on the inside, I often felt like I was wearing clothes that didn’t fit.

Thankfully, over the past several years, I’ve been on a journey to rediscover what makes me wonderfully unique.  I’m redefining success and expressing parts of myself that I suppressed in the past.  And, best of all, I’m dancing again!

What does success look like for you?

We’ve all heard the old saying, “you are what you eat.”  If you eat the too many high-caloric and fatty foods, you’ll begin to resemble the Michelin Man or perhaps the Pillsbury Doughboy.  The same can be said for watching, reading, or listening to the economic news.  When you are ingesting so much bad news, it is bound to have a negative effect on your mental attitude.

News outlets are selling something.  And, like it or not, massive layoffs and decimated 401K’s sell better than your neighbor getting a new job with a competitive pay package and closer to home.  So, if you are feeling discouraged about your current situation or worried about what tomorrow will bring, try going on a news diet.

I ran across a story recently about Vikas Swarup, the man who wrote the book Q&A upon which the movie was based.  Swarup said, “I was inspired by the hole-in-the-wall project, where a computer with an internet connection as put in a Delhi slum. When the slum was revisited after a month, the children of that slum had learnt how to use the wordwide web.”  “That got me fascinated and I realized that there’s an innate ability in everyone to do something extraordinary, provided they are given an opportunity. How else do you explain children with no education at all being able to learn to use the internet?”

I hadn’t heard of the Hole-in-the-Wall project so I went to the website and read about the wonderful work that this organization is doing.  On the home page, it explains, “Now, more than ever before, it is critical to look at solutions that complement the framework of traditional schooling. Minimally Invasive Education is one such solution – a solution that uses the power of collaboration and the natural curiosity of children to catalyze learning.”

I love this concept.  Children are absolutely learning machines.  They are naturally curious about the world around them.  I see this firsthand with my grandchild who is 23 months old.  Now is the time for all the rest of us to recapture our innate curiosity, desire to explore, and love of learning.  Go out today and learn something new!

• What kind of impact do I want to have on the people I meet?
• As a leader, what type of work environment am I creating?

Enjoy and smile!

Last year, I developed and delivered a short business presentation on how to develop goals using the SMART formula.  In that presentation, I began by talking about Dr. King’s dream and the dreams of a few other inspirational people.  I knew it was a bit unconventional to talk about dreams in a formal business presentation, but I didn’t let that faze me.  I wanted to make the point that the really important goals, the ones you are bound and determined to achieve, are firmly rooted in your dreams.  If they weren’t, it would be too easy to give up on them.

“All successful people, men and women, are big dreamers.  They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward that distant vision, that goal or purpose.”  – Brian Tracy

What is your dream?  Is the work you are doing moving your closer to the dream?